Posts Tagged ‘Audience’

A few years ago I was asked to give a motivational speech at a local community center. It was their annual general meeting and the director asked me if I would speak about the importance of community involvement. I eagerly accepted the engagement.

I composed and practiced the speech using the skills that I have shared with you. When it came to the presentation however, I ran right into a brick wall. During the actual presentation I discovered that no one in the audience was interested in my speech…

Well that’s not entirely true – there were some people who were interested, but a large portion weren’t. The director had combined the annual general meeting and the children’s Christmas party. A large number of the people there were “just tolerating” the meeting while they waited so that their children could visit with Santa.

Now you might expect such an audience to be at least polite and wait quietly even if they weren’t interested. Such was not the case. Many of the audience members took it as an opportunity to catch up with their neighbors. They made no effort to hide the fact that they were indifferent towards the meeting and especially me – they were totally wrapped up in their own conversations.

I will tell you right now, it’s extremely disconcerting to have this happen.

At first I tried to engage these people. I projected as much energy and enthusiasm as I could towards them. It didn’t take long to determine that wasn’t going to work.

I then realized that I was focusing on the wrong people. There was a group of people right in front who were hanging on every word (at least that’s what I told myself). They nodded in agreement with my points, they laughed at my humor – in short, they were an attentive audience. Here I was short changing them by directing all my attention to those who had no interest.

Once I had realized this the answer was obvious. Focus my attention on the people who were interested in what I had to say – don’t worry about those who weren’t. I decided that not only should I re-focus my attention, but that I should direct just as much energy and enthusiasm towards them as I had directed towards those who were not paying attention. After all, shouldn’t I put at least as much energy into my speech for those who were being courteous as I chose to for those who were being rude.

The result was fairly predictable. After the meeting those who ignored me continued to do so – after all they were there for Santa (and I could hardly compete with him, could I?).

Many of those who were paying attention came up to me after and gave my positive feedback. I certainly appreciated it – however the best feedback arrived recently. I was talking with a lady I had met and she mentioned being involved with this particular community center. I mentioned that I had spoken there three years earlier. She immediately said, “Oh, I remember you” and went on to describe the points that I had made.

Wow – after three years she remembered my speech. I guess in the end I made the right choice of whom to direct my enthusiasm towards.

As a speaker you can certainly be affected by your audience. Your audience’s response can boost you up just as much as it can bring you down. One strategy is to seek out those in your audience who will give your emotions a boost, and speak to them. As you engage them you will find others are being pulled in as well. Gradually you will reach more and more of your audience. In the end, if you are going to expend some energy on your audience, make sure you invest it in those who will give you the positive feedback you need in order to make it an interactive and dynamic presentation.

It happens to all of us – we plan the speech of a lifetime only to have something go wrong. Now it feels like the failure of a lifetime. What are we to do?

The first thing to remember is that our perceptions are not as objective as we might think – in fact they are extremely subjective. There have been numerous times when I have made blunders and thought that the audience would never forgive me. After the speech I found out that they completely missed the errors, or didn’t think they were that significant.

The next thought is to remember that the enemy of a ‘good job’ is not a bad job, but an attempt at a perfect job. This is true for every aspect of our lives, not just public speaking.

How often do we make the decision that if we can’t do something perfectly then we’re not going to do it all. I actually think that this is why many people avoid public speaking. They’re afraid that they might make a small mistake in front of a lot of people. Their sub consciousnesses are busy asking how they could possibly deal with that level of scrutiny.

The truth is that none of us are perfect. The worst ones for expecting perfection is ourselves. Remember, our audiences aren’t looking for perfection – they are looking to be informed, moved, or perhaps entertained. Do a good job at that and they will be pleased.
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We often talk about the fear of public speaking but do we stop to think about what we are really afraid of? I would suggest that for most people it is not the act of speaking that is the problem – after all, most of us don’t have a problem speaking. Whether it is talking with one other person or in a group of friends, being afraid is not a common problem – in fact most of us need to stop speaking and listen more..

So if we are not afraid of speaking, then there must be some other component that makes us afraid of “public speaking” – could it be the “public”?

Of course it is – and that confirms that were not really afraid of the speaking component – we’re really afraid of the audience.

But why?

Does the audience have some sort of power or authority over us? Can they make are lives miserable if we fail even in the most minute way? In some cases the answer is a very real “yes” – however those cases are very rare and when they do exist the individuals can usually make our lives miserable whether we fail or not.

In most cases however, it’s something else.

Most of us are afraid of being humiliated?

Humiliated if we are boring, humiliated if we stutter, humiliated if we forget our material for even a second or even humiliated because we can’t figure out what to do with our hands.

But what are the chances of this really happening? We don’t want to answer these questions because we don’t want to face the very real fear – yet it is the unknown that makes it that much more terrifying?
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