Posts Tagged ‘Comfort Zone’

Hi Folks,

A subscriber to the Effectively Speaking Newsletter recently contacted me about a newly developed fear of public speaking.  With his permission I am sharing his question along with my response with you.

David.

————————-

David

I recently joined your newsletter and have been reading your articles on overcoming fear of public speaking.  Previously, I didn’t have problems speaking to groups - in fact I spoke in public many times.  Unfortunately, during a recent presentation I lost my place.  In addition, I neglected to bring my notes.  Panic set in and I was unable to complete my presentation.  If that was not bad enough, the sense of panic sets in every time I have to speak now.  To this point, I have only made brief announcements to one of the groups that I belong to.

Do you have any other suggestions that might help me?

Thanks

P.

Hi P.

Thanks for writing.  I’m sorry to hear of your (new found) struggles with public speaking.

Here are a few thoughts.

First of all I think you have a good approach of allowing yourself to get just a bit out of your comfort zone.  By giving the announcements you are allowing yourself to experience some successes - that’s great.

The articles that I sent you include some thoughts on losing track during a speech.  Read those and make sure that you keep them in mind.

In addition, keep in mind what I have to say about your audience.  They are not your adversary.  They really do want you to succeed.  The next time you have to speak (even just to make an announcement) keep in mind that they are not there judging you.  If you struggle they will do everything they can to help you succeed.

I spoke to a group of law students last year about speaking in public (can you imagine, people who are going to be arguing cases for a career and they are afraid to speak in public).  I pointed out that even their audience was not watching them for failures.  The opposing side might be… but not the real audience.  The audience, I explained, was the jury and/or the judge.  The students could ignore the opposing side and go about presenting the information that they needed in order to help the jury and judge make the correct decision.

Now my point is that if the audience is supportive in an adversarial environment such as a courtroom then it is certainly going to be supportive in your environment.  If you make a mistake or stumble don’t worry about it; just correct yourself and move on.

I realize that you are already doing this, but I would reinforce that you have notes with you whenever you speak.  You may not need them, but they will help reduce the panic.

Finally, you might want to take a look at the course I created at http://www.EffectivelySpeakingMembers.Com.  It goes into overcoming your fear of public speaking in a lot more depth.

As you pointed out, you were able to address a group in the past.  It’s your recent experience that caused you humiliation and therefore psychological pain.  You subconscious is programmed to avoid pain… both physical and psychological.  It has decided to associate public speaking with pain and therefore avoid it.  In dealing with your fear you will want to deal with both the conscious and subconscious.  Realizing that you were successful at addressing groups in the past is a good place to start.  Allowing yourself the small moments of success with the announcements is another.  Keep working at it and you will succeed.

I wish you all the best as you strive to overcome your fear of public speaking.

David

Toastmasters

Toastmasters International is an organization that is dedicated to assisting individuals to become public speakers and leaders. This is accomplished through a series of local clubs throughout the world. Toastmasters clubs offer a safe environment in which you can practice the speaking skills that you are learning and be exposed to new skills.

I highly recommend investigating a Toastmasters club near you.

To find out more about Toastmasters International you can visit their website at http://www.toastmasters.org. Among the wealth of information that they have at their site, you can perform a search to find a local club.

What is Toastmasters?

A lot of people found Effectively Speaking because they were looking for Toastmasters on the web. Some people have even confused Effectively Speaking with Toastmasters International. To help everyone understand, I would like to:

• Explain who I am in relation to Toastmasters and what I think of Toastmasters
• Give you suggestions on what to look for in a club
• Tell you how to find a local Toastmasters club that you might want to join

Who I am in relation to Toastmasters.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

I recently came across an article about phobias. There definitely are a lot of them - but I have never read about hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

You can see the article here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/10/nphobia110.xml

Now we can get completely overwhelmed (perhaps even phobic) about the number of fears that are out there. Alternatively, we can draw some comfort from them. After all…

The article also points out that people do overcome phobias. The last point is definitely good news. Phobias seem overwhelming to people (hey, that’s why they’re phobias) – yet with the right help, we can conquer them.

You can start by deciding that you are going to move outside of your comfort zone. Start by taking a small controlled risk. Use the information that I have shared with you to compose and present a small speech. As I’ve said before, you don’t even have to let your audience know that it is a “planned speech.” It could be an introduction, a toast, or some other small action that allows you to set a goal and see some success.

Personally, I don’t have a clue how to overcome hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (ironically, the fear of long words), but I do know about overcoming the fear of public speaking – together, as a community, we can work together and conquer your fear.